September 4, 2013

• Eccentric Animal Diets

  

   

  My customers at work are mostly elderly, and generally nice. Some are rational, others not so much. Today, for instance, I had a customer call to complain about some peanuts she had ordered about two weeks ago. She said she noticed that the squirrels weren’t eating the unsalted peanuts she ordered, and lo and behold she tasted one and was furious that it was salted when she ordered unsalted peanuts. Evidently her squirrels are on low sodium diets, probably in fear of hypertension. Nevermind that it’s only the beginning of September and hasn’t even started getting cold out (so maybe they are well fed and not laying up rations for winter quite yet?). Anyway, she demanded a new couple of pounds of UNSALTED peanuts be brought to her today, free of charge. Her squirrels are damn hungry, you know.

  Several weeks ago she wanted to order whole wheat bread for the birds. It had to be whole wheat, but not hard bread, because the birds won’t eat it, it’s just too difficult for them. The soft wheat bread we carry isn’t whole wheat, but it is soft, but they won’t eat that either. We have in the time since sent her so many different loaves of wheat bread, but none of them to the birds’ liking. We are batting a thousand on not satisfying the animals who wander into her yard. I just hope she doesn’t find they’re partial to birdseed sans sunflower seeds or something. I refuse to go over to her house to pick them out. Sometimes the demands and expectations of customers go a little too far, though they will disagree with that assessment, I’m sure.

  

  What do the animals in your yard like to eat?

  Peanuts: salted or unsalted?

  • 12:50 pm
  • 6 Comments