A Graphic Representation:

I had no intention in participating in the latest topic set forth by Featured_Grownups, you know, the one about, “What do you worship, follow, or believe in?” When I saw that this particular topic was the one voted on for the second part of July I cringed. It’s not because I am ashamed or embarrassed by what I believe in, it’s just that I was always taught not to discuss such things in mixed company…religion and politics…they always make for lively and sometimes heated discussion. Actually I’ve rarely blogged about either, wishing to keep my blog on the lighter side of things, usually. But this topic has been nagging at me for several days now. I guess the Spirit is willing, but the flesh has been weak.

But we’re all friends here, right? I actually have many friends here on Xanga who I know don’t see things even remotely close to the way I do. And that’s fine. I guess the biggest reason for my hesitation is that I don’t want anyone thinking I am preaching to them, or trying to convert them to my way of thinking on the topic. It’s a very personal subject, and it should be. Typically I don’t share my religious views until I feel led to do so, and well, now seems to be a time to do so, since I can’t seem to escape the thoughts about this very post that I’m about to share. So here goes…turn back now if you don’t want to read it…you’ve been duly warned!

I am a Spirit filled, Bible believing, follower of the Messiah, Jesus of Nazareth…Son of the only true and living God (the Father), the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Many call it being a “Born Again” Christian. However, I don’t really fit into a nice little cookie cutter mold as many would think I would, professing this as what I believe. My beliefs differ in some respects compared to other believers. I know when you think of someone who calls themselves a “Born Again Christian” it conjures images of a Bible thumping, hellfire and brimstone preaching, straight-laced goody two shoes. Well, that’s not me. Here’s why:

1) I don’t go to church. I’ve done that, been there. I haven’t found a church yet that believes the same way I do. I study on my own, I’ve heard a bunch of sermons. I’m bored. I’m hungry. I want more “meat” than what the church today can give me, and all I get there seems to be a steady diet of milk. I know, you other Christians out there are saying, “But the Bible says that we aren’t supposed to forsake the assembling of ourselves together!” I don’t believe that a church building is the only place that it can be done. I assemble with other Christians elsewhere.

2) I believe that abortion should remain a legal option. I think it is between that woman and God. I also don’t believe that life starts at the fertilization of the ovum. I believe that the fetus is nothing more than a mass of cells before God “quickens” it…that is, until you can feel it moving inside your womb.

3) I take my communion with real wine. Many think that drinking alcohol is a sin. I don’t. I firmly believe where it says in the Bible that Jesus turned water into wine that he didn’t turn it into grape juice. I even enjoy drinking wine at times when I am not having communion. I like beer sometimes, too. I’ve never been too into hard liquor, but to each his own.

4) I don’t think that one particular sin is any greater than another. Have you ever lied? Have you ever coveted something that someone else has? Stolen? Are you gay, lesbian, or bi? I’ve lied. I’ve coveted. I’m not a lesbian, I’m straight, but does that make me better in God’s eyes than someone who prefers a same sex relationship? No. In God’s eyes there are no varying degrees of sin. And if anyone says they don’t sin, they are a liar. So there. We are all in need of redemption. I am not better than anyone else.

5) I don’t think shoving my beliefs down someone else’s throat yields the results that God wants. As I said before, I don’t share what I believe until I feel led by the Spirit to do so. You will not find me going door to door passing out tracts. You also won’t find me posting a whole lot about being saved, or that you’re all sinners destined for Hell. We are supposed to love one another. God is a God of Grace. He is love. Should I not sow seeds of love instead of seeds of despair?

6) I don’t believe that “spare the rod, spoil the child” means that we are supposed to physically harm our children. Not that I haven’t swatted my kids on the backside a time or two. If anyone knows anything about what a shepherd uses a “rod” for, it’s not a tool of aggression, nor used for beating; it’s used as a prod for guidance.

7) I believe in free will, and I believe God can still do miracles. I think we all have our own choices to make. I can’t make a choice for anyone but myself. I can only walk my own walk. I also believe in the gifts of the Spirit, and that they are in operation today.

I guess those are the main things that make me different than most Christians. I am curious if there are any other Christians out there in the Xangaverse who think the same way I do?

Would you like to know where I stand on other issues? You may ask in the comments…

That’s me. Must shower. Have to get to work. Day off tomorrow! Real post coming later today.

Why am I always running late these days?

Almost 6:00 P.M. and I find myself home alone. Typically I’d relish some quiet “me” time. I don’t so much right now.

I have found myself in a very odd place. On one hand I am ecstatically happy in my marriage, satisfied with my job outside the home, and generally pleased that I am healthier now than I was even a year ago.

On the other hand, my mother has been gravely ill following a heart attack, stroke, double bypass open-heart surgery, hospital born infections, failed bypasses in her legs, dry gangrene in her feet, vascular dementia (which is causing her to hallucinate and talk crazy stuff), and is facing the amputation of her left leg soon. It has needed to be amputated for a while, as her toes are starting to fall off on her left foot. She just hasn’t been strong enough, and if they would try now chances are she wouldn’t make it. She’s in a lot of pain, and I hate to see her hurting. It hurts me to see her this way.

I have plenty to do here at home. Chores seem to accumulate faster than I can get the gumption to do them. That’s the thing…doing the chores allows me to think, and that’s something I don’t want to do right now. I want distractions. I crave distractions; anything to take my mind off of the “downs” going on in my life at the moment.

I have to do them now, we need dishes to eat off of, and clothes to wear. I’m going to try blasting some music while I work. I don’t think it’s going to help much, unfortunately. I can still think over the music.

What things do you do to distract yourself when you have a lot on your mind?

I’ve had many pets in my life…birds, fish, turtles, ducks, horses, goats, dogs and cats. The cats that I’ve had were barn cats, though, not housebound lap varieties. I’ve always considered myself more of a “dog person” than a “cat person.” Dogs just seem more personable to me, more loyal, and well, they don’t use a litter box in the house and stink up the whole darn place. I’m also not allergic to dogs like I am cats.

About a year ago my daughter, Marisa, asked me if she could have a pet. My stepdaughter’s cat had kittens and she was trying to find them good homes. I hesitated and hemmed and hawed at the whole proposition. I wasn’t even sure it was physically possible for me to have a cat in my presence, although I had heard if you get the cat when it’s young enough, an allergic person will build up an immunity to the dander. She really wanted a dog, but we’re not allowed to have dogs where we currently live. My husband (who was just my fiancé at the time) had recently lost a beloved cat. He never thought of himself as a cat person, either, but this little cat saw him through some rough and lonely times, providing him companionship when his fiancée (previous to me) passed away suddenly.

All things considered, I told her we’d give it a shot. She brought this little gray and white puffball home. It was cute, and playful. She named it “Bella.” It wasn’t until it got a little bigger that I noticed Bella needed a name change to a more masculine one. His name is now “Kip.”

Kip is a house cat. I have not been bothered by allergies with him. He is a destructive and smelly cat. He knows his name and comes when I call him. The daughter is rarely home and I or my husband end up feeding him and cleaning out his litter box most of the time.

One time, a few months ago, Kip escaped the confines of our abode. Being a dumb cat I wasn’t sure he’d find his way back. I started missing him. I missed the “talks” we’d have when I came home from work (Meow sessions…don’t ask, we understood each other). I missed him wanting attention from me (when he decided he wanted it, of course). I almost cried when I thought he wasn’t coming back. We went out looking for him, but being the stealthy bundle of a cat that he is (and coming into his sexual maturity) he was nowhere to be found. I went to bed that night heartbroken.

The next morning I awoke to find that he had come home and one of Marisa’s house guests had let him in after they heard him meowing loudly at the front door. I was so glad to see him, I scooped him up, cuddled and pet him, and verbally chastised him for running away. Yes, I was scolding a cat. I was speaking harsh words. To a cat. What had become of me? Had I turned into a cat person?

The answer to that is…not really. I have a love/hate relationship with this furry beast. He’s got his own personality, and usually he’s pretty cool to have around. I did miss him when he was gone. But just now, after cleaning up a nasty hairball off of the floor, I am considering leaving the door open, just wide enough for a cat body to go through.

Are you a dog or cat person?