July 21, 2010
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Ups and Downs
Almost 6:00 P.M. and I find myself home alone. Typically I’d relish some quiet “me” time. I don’t so much right now.
I have found myself in a very odd place. On one hand I am ecstatically happy in my marriage, satisfied with my job outside the home, and generally pleased that I am healthier now than I was even a year ago.
On the other hand, my mother has been gravely ill following a heart attack, stroke, double bypass open-heart surgery, hospital born infections, failed bypasses in her legs, dry gangrene in her feet, vascular dementia (which is causing her to hallucinate and talk crazy stuff), and is facing the amputation of her left leg soon. It has needed to be amputated for a while, as her toes are starting to fall off on her left foot. She just hasn’t been strong enough, and if they would try now chances are she wouldn’t make it. She’s in a lot of pain, and I hate to see her hurting. It hurts me to see her this way.
I have plenty to do here at home. Chores seem to accumulate faster than I can get the gumption to do them. That’s the thing…doing the chores allows me to think, and that’s something I don’t want to do right now. I want distractions. I crave distractions; anything to take my mind off of the “downs” going on in my life at the moment.
I have to do them now, we need dishes to eat off of, and clothes to wear. I’m going to try blasting some music while I work. I don’t think it’s going to help much, unfortunately. I can still think over the music.
What things do you do to distract yourself when you have a lot on your mind?
Comments (14)
I’m so sorry your mom is having all kinds of serious health problems. Believe me, I know how it is to deal with a parent’s dementia, and the crazy talk can really weird you out sometimes. I also understand about wanting to not think about such things at times. I distract myself by thinking about my “happy place” from childhood – the camp I attended as a camper and then worked at for many years. I’ll also play some music from that time period, which keeps me “back in the day” for as long as I need to be there! I hope you find some distractions while doing those chores.
Kathi
love you lisa. let me know if i can do anything for you!
I’m so sorry to hear about your Mom’s bad health! I will be sure to put her in my prayers… and you!
@Still_groovy - Thank you, Kathi, for the suggestion. I could go for some nostalgic music right about now. Sounds good!
@bipolori - Thanks, Lori. I will let you know. Ray should be home soon, I’ll be a bit better then. =) We should find a good time to go out and play trivia together. That would rock!
@angi1972 - All prayers graciously and happily accepted! Thank, Ang.
@bipolori - BTW, I love you, too!
I am so terribly sad to know how your mother suffers so, I have thought of her often and so wondered how she is doing. She is in my prayers as are you and all your family. Hugs and much love…
@Aloysius_son - It has been hellish watching her health and mind deteriorate. Thank you for the prayers, John, and the hugs and love…
I’m sorry to hear about your mom’s health problems. I am grateful that you are stronger now and have a great support system so that you can deal with all of it. As for me, I have to get out in nature when things are rumbling through my brain too much. It just calms me to no end.
Music is good, but a well written book is better. Many a time I have drowned my thoughts in a few chapters of Harry Potter.
I’m terribly sorry to hear about your mother. *hugs*
my mom is a diabetic too and now I am and it’s scary to think about how I might be one day too.
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