Something wonderful and incredible has happened to me today. Today I am 45 years old. Oh, most birthdays in the past have gone by without so much as noticing anything more than the increasing digits, and some have gone by with more than a little angst…but this one? This birthday morning I awoke to realize how different this particular birthday is for me than any other birthday that has come and gone.

Upon opening my eyes this morning my mind raced back through the years to my youth and what birthdays meant to me back then - - cake, ice cream, parties and presents, balloons, bright and colorful wrapping paper, and silly birthday cards. Not a bad way to celebrate a birthday, for sure. Then there were the birthdays of my young adulthood, filled with more cake, and the addition of alcohol, and mornings after that I am thankful I haven’t repeated as of late (as I have learned to take my cake and alcohol separated by some time - - less gastric distress that way)!

My birthday celebration today will not be filled with the customary celebratory props of the past. I am not planning on having cake and ice cream, no balloons, probably no confetti and streamers. There will not be a party of any sort, per se, as far as I know. I will be celebrating, however, though my celebration will consist of spending some quality time with those closest to me in the comfort of my own abode. I am fortunate enough today that I have a day off from work, and it is just a happy coincidence that my day off falls on my birthday. There are a few necessary errands I have to run and chores that I must do, but after those are done I plan on doing a lot of nothing, and taking some time to reflect on what this time thus far on this big blue planet has taught me and given me.

It is something that I’ve already started to ponder today, and the things I’ve thought about have been truly the best gifts I’ve ever received. Throughout the day the list will grow, of that I am certain, but some of the things I am counting as gifts are as follows, and in no particular order of importance:

1) I have my health, I am on no medications. A low carb lifestyle has gone a long way to insure a healthy immune system and great lab results on all blood work I’ve had since I have started eating this way almost 3 years ago. Bravo to me for not believing the conventional wisdom that low fat eating is the way to go!

2) I have come into my own in my mid forties. I am comfortable in my own skin and have a peace of mind like never before. Things that were once very important to me do not hold the same importance they once did. For example, though I still cover the gray in my hair with hair dye (and probably always will for vanity’s sake), the fine lines I see turning into deeper lines do not make me want to rush out and get Botox and collagen injections as I once thought they might. There is also this self-confidence I have, and it is the strongest it has ever been. I do not second guess my decisions like I often did in my twenties and thirties. That is part of the beauty of getting older - - embracing wisdom gained and learned through the hardest of times in my life.

3) I am okay with the fact that I have not done anything on a grand scale to make the world a better place. I am satisfied with knowing that there are things I have done on a much smaller scale to help loved ones, friends, and strangers, and if that is all that I am ever remembered for, it is enough. That said, I’m nowhere near death yet, and there is still time to win a Nobel Peace Prize, or something, right?

4) I am in love for the first time in my life. I have a relationship with the man I love that defies anything I ever thought remotely possible in this world. It is a relationship of quality and equality, mutual respect and admiration. The roads we have both travelled up to this point, where we have arrived at each other’s hearts and souls, has been paved with struggles and trials that have taught both of us valuable life lessons. These life lessons have equipped us with everything we need to confidently walk in the present together while planning for our future side by side.  We have trust in one another, and an unshakable desire to do everything in our power to uplift each other in all things.

5) I can pick my battles, and often choose not have one. Life is too short to argue, cry, and moan about the injustices we all face throughout our lifetimes. I can take the lesson without the drama, and that part is usually within my power to do.

I look forward to this year so very much. For as many times as I had wished in my youth that I had never been born I am glad that the Good Lord never took me seriously about those wishes. The way I figure it, I plan to live to be 120 years old, and I’ve got many more good years ahead of me. I don’t believe I’ve learned all the lessons life has in store for me, but I am confident that with the tools I’ve been equipped with up till now the ride will be much more smooth than it was in my younger days. I say, “Bring it on!”

Cheers! This pirate is looking at 45 and beyond, and it looks so sweet!

I was my sister Sally's support person when she had a c-section yesterday, and delivered my newest niece, Trissa Grace:



Click on the photo to see Trissa Grace's gallery of photos!

I also have a new post on my personal blog, with photos posted of my brush with the local roller derby team, and photos of the countryside on my drive back home from Trissa's delivery.

Please come and check it all out! CLICKIE!

(Personal Blog down - hackers! Ugh)

Time? No check.

We're getting settled in our new abode. I've had internet for the last couple of days but no time to get on here and blog. As soon as I get things put together a little more I'll take some photos. I miss you all, I really do. None of you are far from my thoughts.

Note to Seedsower/Beth...I got your message. Give me a call back or let me know when a good time is to call. Love you! And thanks. =)

By the way, I'm really loving the new place. I'm enjoying putting everything back together. I'm getting good rest at night, too. Insomnia is not a problem for me at the moment. I'm actually turning into a morning person. Not sure how long that will last, but I'm enjoying it while I can.

Thank you all for the birthday wishes! I haven't had time to celebrate yet, but plan to when I can...soon I hope!

In the process now of moving. I am taking my computer to the new location today, and I am not sure when I'll be back online (have to call my internet provider on Monday to schedule an appointment for them to hook me up). Will it be a few days? A week? A couple of weeks? Not sure. I may be checking for comments on my MySpace from my cell phone.since I can't access Xanga from my cell. My MySpace addy is http://www.myspace.com/cynarajane. Be back ASAP with photos!