Almost 6:00 P.M. and I find myself home alone. Typically I’d relish some quiet “me” time. I don’t so much right now.

I have found myself in a very odd place. On one hand I am ecstatically happy in my marriage, satisfied with my job outside the home, and generally pleased that I am healthier now than I was even a year ago.

On the other hand, my mother has been gravely ill following a heart attack, stroke, double bypass open-heart surgery, hospital born infections, failed bypasses in her legs, dry gangrene in her feet, vascular dementia (which is causing her to hallucinate and talk crazy stuff), and is facing the amputation of her left leg soon. It has needed to be amputated for a while, as her toes are starting to fall off on her left foot. She just hasn’t been strong enough, and if they would try now chances are she wouldn’t make it. She’s in a lot of pain, and I hate to see her hurting. It hurts me to see her this way.

I have plenty to do here at home. Chores seem to accumulate faster than I can get the gumption to do them. That’s the thing…doing the chores allows me to think, and that’s something I don’t want to do right now. I want distractions. I crave distractions; anything to take my mind off of the “downs” going on in my life at the moment.

I have to do them now, we need dishes to eat off of, and clothes to wear. I’m going to try blasting some music while I work. I don’t think it’s going to help much, unfortunately. I can still think over the music.

What things do you do to distract yourself when you have a lot on your mind?

I’ve had many pets in my life…birds, fish, turtles, ducks, horses, goats, dogs and cats. The cats that I’ve had were barn cats, though, not housebound lap varieties. I’ve always considered myself more of a “dog person” than a “cat person.” Dogs just seem more personable to me, more loyal, and well, they don’t use a litter box in the house and stink up the whole darn place. I’m also not allergic to dogs like I am cats.

About a year ago my daughter, Marisa, asked me if she could have a pet. My stepdaughter’s cat had kittens and she was trying to find them good homes. I hesitated and hemmed and hawed at the whole proposition. I wasn’t even sure it was physically possible for me to have a cat in my presence, although I had heard if you get the cat when it’s young enough, an allergic person will build up an immunity to the dander. She really wanted a dog, but we’re not allowed to have dogs where we currently live. My husband (who was just my fiancé at the time) had recently lost a beloved cat. He never thought of himself as a cat person, either, but this little cat saw him through some rough and lonely times, providing him companionship when his fiancée (previous to me) passed away suddenly.

All things considered, I told her we’d give it a shot. She brought this little gray and white puffball home. It was cute, and playful. She named it “Bella.” It wasn’t until it got a little bigger that I noticed Bella needed a name change to a more masculine one. His name is now “Kip.”

Kip is a house cat. I have not been bothered by allergies with him. He is a destructive and smelly cat. He knows his name and comes when I call him. The daughter is rarely home and I or my husband end up feeding him and cleaning out his litter box most of the time.

One time, a few months ago, Kip escaped the confines of our abode. Being a dumb cat I wasn’t sure he’d find his way back. I started missing him. I missed the “talks” we’d have when I came home from work (Meow sessions…don’t ask, we understood each other). I missed him wanting attention from me (when he decided he wanted it, of course). I almost cried when I thought he wasn’t coming back. We went out looking for him, but being the stealthy bundle of a cat that he is (and coming into his sexual maturity) he was nowhere to be found. I went to bed that night heartbroken.

The next morning I awoke to find that he had come home and one of Marisa’s house guests had let him in after they heard him meowing loudly at the front door. I was so glad to see him, I scooped him up, cuddled and pet him, and verbally chastised him for running away. Yes, I was scolding a cat. I was speaking harsh words. To a cat. What had become of me? Had I turned into a cat person?

The answer to that is…not really. I have a love/hate relationship with this furry beast. He’s got his own personality, and usually he’s pretty cool to have around. I did miss him when he was gone. But just now, after cleaning up a nasty hairball off of the floor, I am considering leaving the door open, just wide enough for a cat body to go through.

Are you a dog or cat person?

I remember the first time I played the old board game Trivial Pursuit. I can remember I knew a lot of trivial things in most of the categories, except the entertainment one (which was pretty funny, seeing as how I was a theater major in college at the time, and you’d have thought I’d have been better at that one). It was a board game that my friends and I played often. There were few video games back then, or at least few good ones, and nothing like young people have nowadays where you can play them with friends all over the world. So, board games, card games, or drinking games were it…yes, it was the stone age of group entertainment.

I enjoy having some knowledge about trivial things. It impresses me when others have that knowledge, especially about the things I have no knowledge of myself. My husband spent some time playing a national trivia game at a local sports bar with friends years ago. He was, by his account, extremely good at it, and ranked number one nationally in this particular trivia group at times. I didn’t disbelieve him when he mentioned it, but I couldn’t really appreciate what he was saying until I witnessed him playing with my own ears and eyes. It wasn’t until we happened to meet up with Seedsower last week at a pub, and found out that it was trivia night there that I discovered how truly wonderful he was at trivia. We got there after the trivia had started, but participated anyway, and wound up winning a round (and free food) and being in the top 2 or 3 of the groups there that evening, even though we got there late. I knew a lot of the answers to the questions, but not the really obscure ones, and nothing about the sports questions. My husband, on the other hand, knew the answers to just about every question. The round we won was due to the husband winning a tie breaker round by naming a little known song that the trivia host played. Few notes into the intro of the song and he shouts out the name. Amazing. I think if we had arrived on time to participate from the beginning we would have had the whole thing in the bag.

Well, tonight is trivia night at that pub once again. My plan is for us to be there on time and ready. Each round winner wins a free pitcher or appetizer, and the winner for the evening wins a gift card from the hosting establishment. We are so going to be drinking free pitchers of beer and eating free food. Hopefully eating more food than drinking pitchers, though, because I have to be at work early in the morning tomorrow. Wish us luck, and if you’re in the neighborhood, join us at Harrigan’s Tavern in Kettering.

Are you good at trivia? Are there any board games you still play?

I have hesitated in the past to post photos of myself. There were a few different reasons for that…1) I was fat for a while and embarrassed. 2) I don’t really like photos of me usually. 3) I didn’t post them during my first few years here because my husband at the time (not the man I am currently married to) would have thought I was wanting attention from other men.

Well, I’ve lost weight, I don’t plan on posting any unflattering pics of myself, and my husband (the one I am currently married to) knows I adore him…so, I thought I’d post some photos of me, if you’re curious.

The ones at the top are most recent, and all the photos are in descending order time-wise (oldest at the bottom).

Do you post photos of yourself on Xanga?

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Don’t forget to check out the latest Scurvy Dogs and Salty Wenches Challenge: Your Life’s Movie Soundtrack!

Do the challenge and I will link you and recommend your post. Rules HERE.

Participant Links:

made2sing4jesus

mamainkwench

skittler335

ETA (Sunday) – Working today and going to my nieces birthday party after work. I’ll be around later tonight. If you do the challenge, leave a comment and I will link you when I get home. You all have a fabulous day!

It’s been a while since the last Scurvy Dogs and Salty Wenches Challenge, and I figured there was no time like the present to reinstate a long held tradition here on Xanga…the Captain requests your participation!

As the title of this post suggests, your challenge is to gather songs that you would have as the soundtrack to the movie of your life. These songs should hold particular meaning to the specific time period specified in the rules. You may post simply the title and artist, or you may embed a video from YouTube of the song. You may also choose to write a narrative for each song with an explanation of its significance to the period of time, or let the song stand alone speak for itself (or any combination of the two). Please specify the years the songs are from.

I will post my life’s movie soundtrack at the bottom of this post. You do not have to duplicate the way I did mine…you may be more or less creative, it’s up to you!

When you have posted your answer to this challenge, let me know in the comments and I will link you and recommend.

The Rules:

1. Number 1 Song from Birth Year
2. Childhood (First Year through Age 12) – One song from any year between your 1st and 12th birthday. If you are under age 20, pick two songs…from two different years). Specify the years the songs are from.
3. Age 18 – One song from your 18th year.
4. Young Adulthood (Age 19 – 25) – One song from any year between your 19th and 25th birthday. If you are 30 years old or under, pick two songs, two different years. Specify the years the songs are from.
5. Thirty – One song from your 30th year.
6. Forty – One song from your 40th year.
7. Fifty – One song from your 50th year.
8. Now (Any Song Past or Present)

You do not need to be a member of CynaraJane’s Scurvy Dogs and Salty Wenches Blogring to participate, it is open to anyone who wants to do the challenge.

CynaraJane’s Life: The Soundtrack

(Number 1 Song from Birth Year) 1964 – Baby Love, Supremes

(Childhood – First Year through Age 12) 1976 – Dream Weaver, Gary Wright

(Age 18) 1982 – Heat of the Moment, Asia

(Young Adulthood – Age 19 – 25) 1988 – Sweet Child O’ Mine, Guns N’ Roses

This is the year my first child was born. Seemed like a very appropriate song.

(Thirty) 1994 – I’d Do Anything for Love (But I Won’t Do That), Meat Loaf

(Forty) 2004 – Broken, Seether

(Fifty) – N/A

(Now – Any Song Past or Present) – My Love & Maybe I’m Amazed, Paul McCartney

I kind of cheated on this one since it includes two songs, but they are together in the video and I couldn’t choose anyway. Both are representative of my present.

Participant Links:

made2sing4jesus